Klaine 4x06

[crazylovebmine]

Kurt: Kurt spent the entire musical on edge, except, oddly enough, during Beauty School Drop Out. He couldn't help but be drawn in by Blaine's voice, by the way he commanded the stage. He was gorgeous too, there wasn't any denying that. It made Kurt ache. God he missed Blaine every day, but that was Blaine's choice. He needed more time... didn't he. Rachel shot him a look that was too knowing for his comfort, so when the musical was over he slipped off by himself so that this time when he saw Blaine, he could speak to him alone. He was actively ignoring the way his pulse sped up as he waited for Blaine outside the changing rooms, but back in the shadows a bit so that everyone passed him by as they trickled past.

Blaine: The musical had gone perfectly... Finding out that Kurt had attended the performance shouldn't have been a surprise to Blaine, but the news had frozen him on the spot. Fortunately, he'd made it through his performance professionally and he was able to get back to the changing room alone to get himself under control. He opened the door and stepped out, back in his normal clothes, ready to congratulate everyone on the successful performance so he could head home.

Kurt: He knew it wasn't fair to just spring his presence on Blaine like this, but with everyone else around him all the time, this was his golden moment. Rachel would be too caught up with everyone else, thankfully so would Finn, Sam would be riding the high of his performance, and Kurt could slip away, all the way away if he chose. So when he saw Blaine step out he only felt guilty for a moment before stepping out. "Blaine?" he said it softly, not wanting to startle him.

Blaine: Blaine of course, was startled. He froze, staring at Kurt for a few moments, as a million thoughts flew through his head. Finally, he knew he had to say something... anything to keep himself from falling apart. "Kurt," Blaine said softly, "It... it's really good to see you."

Kurt: "I'm sorry I'm just here hiding out like this," Kurt spread his hands out a little to indicate the darkness of the backstage area. "I just couldn't walk out without saying... you were really good, you were amazing," Kurt bit into his lip, because yes all of that was true, but it was coming out sounding a good deal more desperate than he'd meant it to. Come to think of it why would he need to see Blaine alone just to tell him that?

Blaine: "Thank you, I..." Blaine's heart was pounding, and he wanted to grab Kurt and never let him go. "I'm glad you could see come, Finn worked so hard, I'm sure it meant a lot to him..." It meant a lot to Blaine. He wanted to tell Kurt... but he didn't.

Kurt: "Yeah, I'll be sure and tell him how great it was..." Kurt felt out of place, what was he doing? He didn't want to talk about the play anyway... he was just using it as an excuse and now it was getting hard to breathe. "Do you have plans right now?" The question came out almost like only one word, rushed and breathless.

Blaine: Blaine nodded, taking a step towards Kurt before hesitating. He wanted to touch him, to feel that he was really there. He took a deep breath, then blinked at Kurt... the question surprised him... but it also gave him hope. Kurt really wanted to talk to him again. "No," he responded quickly. "No, I don't."

Kurt: Kurt had to swallow a couple of times around the knot in his throat. "Do you... want to get out of here? With me... to talk or ... eat something, you're probably starved..." Kurt hadn't been this nervous around Blaine in forever, but it felt like he couldn't think clearly at all. He didn't have a plan, which was so unlike him.

Blaine: "Of course. Of course I do, Kurt." Blaine probably would be starving if his stomach wasn't in knots. If he'd had any sort of appetite since they'd broken up. "Yeah, let's get out of here."

Kurt: "Me too. Let's go" Kurt only just managed not to reach out and grab Blaine's hand and that hurt, it hurt him that he couldn't do that when he was aching to touch him. He just walked then because he didn't want Blaine to see the hesitation and think it meant he didn't want to be here. Actually he couldn't think of being anywhere else just then and that meant things Kurt was going to have to face at some point, probably soon, very soon. He headed out into the hallway and then turned to take a more circuitous route so that they wouldn't run into anyone. "I didn't want to run into anyone," he admitted softly as he pushed through the side door to the parking lot.

Blaine: Blaine was feeling the same way... wishing so bad to hold Kurt's hand and pull him down the hallway the way he had the day they'd met. But instead he silently followed Kurt down the hallway, wondering at the indirect route until Kurt explained. Blaine nodded, catching the door, and walked out into the parking lot. It made sense. There would be knowing looks, and maybe even questions... and Blaine didn't know what any of this meant, he didn't want to have to talk to their friends about it.

Kurt: "Damn." Kurt swore softly and then grimaced a little at Blaine. "I didn't drive here, did you?" He felt like an idiot, but all he wanted was to be with Blaine somewhere where they couldn't be disturbed, in fact he felt very much like this was one of those moments where you either grab the chance or you let it go and walk away. He was grabbing with both hands.

Blaine: "Oh," Blaine said, laughing just a little bit. "Yeah, I did." He gestured, leading Kurt towards his car, and opened the door for Kurt, more out of habit than anything. He bit his lip, feeling a little silly, and quickly moved around to his side of the car and slid in.

Kurt: There was a moment when Blaine was opening the car door and Kurt was about to slide in when they were standing close enough for Kurt to catch the scent of Blaine's cologne. It made his heart trip over itself in his chest. But then Blaine was gone around to his side to slip in so Kurt followed suit, shutting his door carefully. His hands were only shaking a little when he did up his seatbelt. "Umm, I didn't really plan this, did you want to go someplace to eat or...?" Kurt wasn't hungry at all but he was trying to be considerate considering he was doing the exact thing he'd made it clear he wasn't going to do and that was putting himself right back into Blaine's life, even if it was only for the evening, to talk.

Blaine: Blaine buckled his seat belt slowly, then started the car, glad to have something to busy himself doing. He glanced over at Kurt and his breath caught in his throat. He hadn't known if he'd ever be this close to him again... much less have him in his car. Much less be speaking to him. "I'm... I'm not that hungry, but... ...I'd go anywhere with you, Kurt." His eyes met Kurt's and he couldn't look away.

Kurt: Before the words were even out of his mouth he knew he shouldn't ask, but he was going to anyway. "Can we go to my house? No one's there right now, and Finn and Sam will be busy for a while with the big after party...." Kurt was staring into Blaine's eyes, caught there, and it suddenly hit him with such force... the timing was terrible, or perfect, or horribly perfect, because last year, after another musical, they'd slipped off on their own... Kurt couldn't even make himself finish the thought. His lips parted again as though he were about to say something else, but he glanced away at the last minute. "Is that alright?" he asked softly.

Blaine: Blaine felt himself slowly nodding and he had to tear his eyes away from Kurt's, and focus on putting the car into gear so he could start driving. His thoughts headed in the same direction as Kurt's... this was just like last year, only so completely different. They'd known things would be different, with Kurt in New York, but Blaine never could have imagined how events had actually gone. He reached down, turning on the radio to fill the silence... because he was afraid if he spoke, that he'd start saying everything he'd wanted to say to Kurt since he'd last seen him, and this wasn't the time for that.

Kurt: Kurt sat as still as possible, looking at his hands or looking out the window for the entire ride. He couldn't say anything just now, so he was trying to work out what he wanted to say when they got to the house. How he missed Blaine, how maybe they could find a way to be friends, but all of that sounded hollow because the truth was Kurt desperately needed Blaine, as more than a friend, and even though it wouldn't be the same as before, maybe that could be okay, maybe it didn't have to be the same to be good, or to work for them, maybe it could be a new start, all together. He couldn't believe that's what he was thinking, but there it was, that's what he really wanted, now he just had to get to the point where he could say it. When they got to the house, Kurt slipped out the car and waited for Blaine before waling up and unlocking the door. He flipped on the entryway lights and then locked the door behind them. "Let's sit," he suggested, his voice thick with emotion.

Blaine: In Blaine's opinion, it was a huge accomplishment that he managed to drive to Kurt's house without crashing the car. It helped that he'd made that drive so many times, he didn't even have to think about it, his car just kind of went there. He got out of the car quickly, slamming the door, and followed Kurt inside his house. As Blaine sat down on the couch, he crossed his legs and folded his hands in his lap, glad to see that they were only shaking a little bit. This was his big chance... he had to think of the perfect thing to say... or he'd lose Kurt forever. "I..." He turned and looked at Kurt, and forgot how to speak.

Kurt: Blaine's hesitation, or the waves of nervousness rolling off of him... they were so kindred. Kurt was feeling that exact way. He sat sideways on the couch, one foot on the floor, one curled on the couch so he could face Blaine, but the words just weren't there. He offered Blaine a very tentative smile. "Me too," he said, hoping Blaine would understand.

Blaine: "Kurt..." He smiled back, knowing that all of the emotion he was feeling had to be showing on his face. Blaine reached out and set one hand on top of Kurt's, needing that connection now more than ever. "Kurt... I am so sorry. I know that there isn't anything I can say... to make what I did okay... but you really deserve an apology. A million apologies."

Kurt: "I know, I mean I know that you're sorry. I think... I think I need to understand what happened or why... I've been driving myself crazy trying to figure it out, and maybe that's not fair, I don't know. I just need to know." The words might have sounded harsh, but Kurt's voice was soft, careful, and he turned his hand over so he could tangle his fingers with Blaine, needed their linked hands as an anchor.

Blaine: Blaine nodded, tightening his fingers around Kurt's. He looked down at their joined hands, focusing on the fact that Kurt was trusting him, touching him, letting them be together again, even if it was just this. He looked back up and took a deep breath. "I'll tell you anything you want to know, Kurt."

Kurt: Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand just a little for encouragement. He did it out of habit, because Blaine was distressed and so was he, but he didn't regret it now just because he hadn't planned to do it. "Why, then, that's what I need to know. Because, the way you left it before..." Kurt had to take a breath so that he didn't start getting loud, didn't start losing the tight reign he had on his emotions. "It sounded as though you blamed me for being busy."

Blaine: "No," Blaine shook his head, "I'm sorry, I don't want... it wasn't your fault, I was just... I'm an idiot. ...It was harder than I expected, being here, with you out, living your life." He closed his eyes for a moment to compose his thoughts, then looked back at Kurt, staring into the eyes of the man that he loved. "I was feeling... left behind. I tried to stay busy, to find my place at McKinley, but... my place is with you. And I'd call, or skype, and you'd tell me about all of these incredible things you were doing, and then I'd try to tell you about the election, or ask your opinion about something, and you didn't really notice. And I'm not trying to say that this was your fault." He shook his head, putting his other hand on top of their joined ones. "And I'm not trying to make excuses, or justify what I did. ...But I did it. ...I can't undo it... but I would, Kurt. If there was any way I could go back and change things... I can't stand that I hurt you."

Kurt: Kurt nodded slowly, his lips pursing as he listened. it was easier to hear now, easier to think about now, after being apart. After having so much time to deconstruct it all for himself. To think about the times they'd talked, what they'd talked about, and how he might do it differently if he ever had the chance. "I was really lonely too." He said it softly, his eyes locking on the way their hands looked together. "I've been so alone without you." He took a breath and looked up. "How do I know that things would be any different? How can either of us know that?"

Blaine: "I don't want to live without you, Kurt." Blaine's eyes were filling with tears, and he couldn't stop them, so he just kept looking at Kurt, kept his eyes focused on the love of his life. "I broke your trust, and I know we can't go back to the way things were. But I don't want to give up on us. ...I don't want you to give up on me. I can be better, I can do better. ...I love you."

Kurt: Seeing Blaine break down was too much, Kurt couldn't hold back any longer and his own eyes filled quickly with tears. "I love you too," he managed to say just as the tears began to fall. "I want us to try again, I don't want to go another day like this."

Blaine: Kurt's words really got Blaine crying. The relief he felt, like a huge weight had been lifted off his heart. Kurt missed him too, Kurt still loved him. There was still hope. "Kurt..." he said, reaching out to cup his cheek in his hand. "Kurt, you're the best thing in my life. I honestly don't think I could ever live without you."

Kurt: Kurt pressed his cheek into Blaine's palm his eyes slipping closed, his body relaxing in ways it hadn't been able to in weeks. When he opened his eyes, he smiled and this time there was hope in his eyes. Before he could stop himself or think twice he was reaching for Blaine, moving closer to him, wrapping him up close in a tight hug and just breathing him in. It was fantastic. it was home.

Blaine: Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and just held him. He pressed his face into Kurt's shoulder, marveling in the comfort... he'd missed this so much. He knew Kurt would probably have something to say about him crying all over his designer sweater, but the thought of them doing something so normal, so them, was like a dream come true.